Monday, 1 February 2010

another blow or more

Welll I havent written for ages as lifes been usually hectic...On the 13th of January quite suddenly and unexpected mum died in sister Robbies arms,stunned and shocked we coped with that and just had a beautiful send off last Friday,a funeral that was perfect for the situation close family friends neighbours carers all came to first the church service ironically the full circle because mum and dad married there and Alison and I were christened there.I got through a tribute I had written which told everyone a few funny happenings and a few sad ones but really explained what influence my mum had on how I am now ,I nearly made it but the last two lines were hard ..we took her to the crematorium and then I had the brainwave that her beautiful flowers would be better placed at Dads grave where she will eventually be joining him when we put the ashes in beside him.Mydear sons and my ex husband made the journey to the funeral from Cornwall they were a great comfort to me ,my family were really pleased to see them and John Collins made them smile at his memories of being introduced for the first time to my parents .Funny relationship we have because it was his birthday yesterday and we texted and we realised after all we've been through being apart both being married again,our children still have parents who love each other as we have always been there for each other in times of sadness .Not many people could say that so I feel quite comforted that we havent wasted the rest of our lives with the close emotion of hate like many more divorcees.Anyway I am digressing here because the next blow came just 20 mins after I placed the flowers and my exhusband phone me with the shocking news that Charlie my soulomate grandaughter was rushed into hospital with a heart problem.....we were still an hour from home in the car driven by my dear friend Kimberly and I thought my heart was going to break or stop I found it hard to breathe....she was so far away ..Cornwall might just have been the moon.....God how that felt.
News from that is after staying overnight wired up to machines she has been diagnosed with a congenital heart defect which is thought to be livable with ,shes home now but we are all quite shaken up.
And then if thats not enough for a person to bear poor Winnie had her first litter of puppies and both were still born,in all the years and litters I have never taken a bitch home with nothing......I am so very sorry for her shes been getting her milk down all night and I imagine shes really confused . I have lost two bitches ony 1 at the vet but one after 12 hours so I have had dramas the puppies were normal size and we have no idea why,she started in labour at home but when the vet felt her she was not open enough and so it was still early enough for them to be under no stress.My vet as usual with Izzy the nurse had done a great smooth job getting them out ,but it was not to be .I just feel quite numb I think I am all cried out now .I had a premonition about this as I told several people and my family I had a bad feeling about this and in all honesty was nowhere near as excited about it as I usually am ,probably the emotional time just lived through was a toll on me .I am really sad but I already was ....... when Winnie recovers I can come down to Cornwall and will be able to go at a moments notice if David and Ingrids expected Baby comes early,so maybe fate has had a hand in this ,I have become a great fatalist nowadays.Life goes on I have had such a lot of facebook messages I felt bad posting more bad and I dont want people to feel sorry for me just a prayer that Charlie is ok ,a prayer for Winnie so she recovers from this and prayers and everything crossed for the new member of our family who is due to arive in the next 5 weeks ,we are so looking forward to that ......sorry its long I dont blog often but when I do its a monologue xx

Saturday, 16 January 2010

We lost my mum on Wednesday after a happy christmas with my sister she got a chest infection and went downhill really quickly and although she was really ill with dementia it was so sudden we cannot believe it .

Things will not be done much around here for a few weeks as the funeral is 14 days away.
This picture was when Robbie and Alison ,with me as driver took my mum to Skegness she really enjoyed it and this made Robbie decide to give up her job have a room built at her house and poor mum only lived there 3 weeks,but they were worth three years in happiness for mum had a final family christmas surrounded by normal things not the Nursing home RIP Mum I am sure Dad came for you xx